Sap? You Want Sap? I’ll Give You Sap!

It’s been a while. And so we here at Um have decided to ease ourselves back in to the game. What’s this mean for you? A SENTIMENTAL SPORTS COLUMN!
Over the last two decades of this past century, certain members of the sports media took full advantage of a supposed curse that kept the Boston Red [...]

Are You Fucking Kidding?

This. This, according to the New York Times, is news. And not just any kind of news–Breaking News. Jesus Fucking Christ.
We are in some serious shit.

Madamage

Until this past week, the crimes of the alleged (and so-dubbed) D.C. Madam were fairly victimless: Some pretty rich folks paid a bunch of money to secure the privilege of being able to do it with ladies who seemed okay with the exchange. Duders got laid. Ladies got money. Life carried on.
Sure, when the whole [...]

Slacker Me

Hi there.
We owe you all a new post. And you’ll get it. Sometime.
But for now, you’ll have to subsist on the archives cause we’re STUPID busy.
Apologies,
The Editorial Staff Here at Um

Win Like a Pirate Day?

Oh various recording industry interests groups, why must you be such giant penises? Do you not know that all of this greedy suing of 12-year-olds is bad for your karma?
Yeah, that’s a big no.
This morning brings word (courtesy of the BBC and something called PC World) that a mini-backlash might be a-brewin’: According to our [...]

Some Seriously Righteous Anger

Um. Friends? Please read this.

Really?

One of you is a poor Googler. Actually, that’s not really what I meant to say. Let’s try again: Someone out there sucks at internet searching. Well…though that’s totally true (in fact, I’d bet most of you out there suck at internet searching), it’s also a bit too broad to be accurately used in conjunction [...]